Lefties are cool. Or so I think. Way back in college a friend and I started type-casting left-handed people as “cool”. Although we knew of the theory that left-handers tended to be more creative, we based this categorization on lefties we knew or in which we came in contact. The theory goes on to state that lefties also tend to have higher intellects than right-handers. Plausible, but I would need to see more numbers and evidence to weigh in on this theory. I do believe creativity hints at a high intellect, but I am not so sure one could make this statement that left-handed, crossword-puzzle creator Joe is of a superior intelligence to right-handed, accountant Jane.

Since college and our “like” of left-handedness, I tend to notice this trait. For instance, there exists this episode of Seinfeld where both George and Jerry are writing simultaneously and it shows clearly that they are both lefties. I thought this was very cool and statistically unique (according to the newsgroup, alt.lefthanders, the number of left-handers is approximately 13%, but the website states that at times they have seen the number quoted as high as 30%). I had already noted Seinfeld was a lefty from the show, but never knew Jason Alexander was, too. (Wikipedia does in fact have them both listed as celebrity left-handers -Oh my gosh, I love the Internet, you kids are so lucky growing up with the great tool.)

What prompted me to write about lefty-ism was a recent photo of Angelina Jolie where she is shown signing the adoption papers for her latest addition. In the photo she is seen holding the pen in her left-hand. I was intrigued as I had never before noticed her left-handedness. So I went to the Internet (Internet, have I told you lately how much you mean to me?) and yes, she is listed as a left-handed celebrity.

Our stereotyping of left-handers didn’t stop at coolness. We also felt they tended toward a certain look, a good, we-like-what-we-see, look. The lefty, in our opinions, tended to be more laid-back, less anal, with a tendency toward liberalism (the left, if you will). They would have casual, tousled hair, like they just woke up, begging for fingers to further mess it up, regular jeans and t-shirt guys (we never got around to stereotyping female lefties). For instance, looking over that list of famous lefties I see Dane Cook is one. He, to me, epitomizes the appearance of a lefty. Sometimes we would look at a guy and say, “I bet he’s a lefty” and Dane Cook would have been given this prediction. And if we knew someone was a lefty, this was a bonus.

As I continue to look at the list, I see a bunch of people I have “contemplated” for various reasons:

• Justin Bateman (Cutie with somewhat tousled hair.)
• Josh Halloway (Sawyer from “Lost” - hottie/cutie with those dimples, smile, and very playable hair.)
• Nick Zano (Good-looking guy from “What I like About You”, somewhat regular hair. - He was really pretty good as a sitcom actor, but he may lower the curve on that left-handers as superior intellectuals stat.)
• Vincent D’Onofrio (Strangely fascinated by the intense character he plays on “Law and Order: Criminal Intent”.)
• Keanu Reeves (Have considered his career as an actor and concluded true talent doesn’t necessarily mean great success whereas, conversely, minimal to mediocre talent can mean supreme success if one measures success in the form of fame and money. Tousle-able hair.)
• Helena Christensen - (Model from Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” video whom I consider unusually beautiful versus the typically pretty.)
• Jamie Gold, (Movie producer who won the 2006 WSOP championship. Contemplated his obnoxiousness and didn’t find it hard to believe that during the series he had received death threats. Not a fan, so will not give thought to his hair.)

Left-handed or Right-handed?
(Move cursor to right to highlight the answer)

1. Bill Gates (left-handed)
2. Kiefer Sutherland (right-handed)
3. Hilary Swank (left-handed)
4. Matt Groening (left-handed)
5. Matt Damon (right-handed)
6. Barack Obama (left-handed M, I bet you find this happifying?)
7. Oprah Winfrey (left-handed - Surprised by this one. )

Nothing left to say for now. Happy lefty-looking.

Hillary Clinton recently visited Selma, Alabama where she gave a rallying speech in these pre-election months. I heard a clip played from this oratory presentation and felt uncomfortable when she attempted to imitate a southern accent during the talk. It proved both humiliating and embarrassing. I do not think she could have made it any worse if she threw in a “you go girl!” at the end of the speech. Does she not have advisers, family members? I know I once tried to imitate a scene from “Girlfriends” and my sister told she to shut the hell up because I (my mimicry) sucked. Where were these people when she practiced her speech?

I am quite aware I cannot do accents. Sometimes in my head I will “think” a tongue twister and think I did it well, but mess it up during vocalization. But with accents -even those I cannot do well in my head. For instance, right now I just said “goo’ day mate” with an Australian accent in my head and guess what, it sucked. I am unable to even “think” a good accent, therefore, I know I would never try to pronounce it out loud. Where was Hillary’s filter?

The announcer who played the clip stated he wished politician’s didn’t feel the need to pander to the public. Then under his breath he muttered “Barack Obama”, as a way to indicate he thought Obama did not pander and to subtly state his support of Obama (or so I believe). Immediately I thought back to an article I read last summer about Obama. This was in 2006 and much earlier than the public declaration of his presidential candidacy run.

The article was in a top national magazine and although it was neither blatantly pro- or anti- Obama, it hinted to the fact that Obama still had much to prove and that many of his intentions should be made clearer. And in the article the author specifically points out that Obama had adopted a slow cadence in presenting his speech to a group of Iowans, so as to mimic the supposed slow speaking patterns of this Midwestern community. Whereas this writer stopped short of using the word “pander”, he did imply that Obama had presented himself in a manner somewhat atypical of his regular self.

This is actually a tool commonly recommended and/or taught to others seeking to gain effectiveness in their communication abilities. In psychology it is known as “mirroring”, where one attempts to mimic or mirror the actions of another in order to create a subconscious bond where the one mimicking attempts to gain empathy while the “mirrored” person feels a sense of support. But this technique is supposed to be somewhat transparent and not so outrightly jarring as Hillary Clinton’s speech that it seemingly served to alienate more than bond us to her words. And that ain’t right.

At Target the other day, I walked past the infamous clearance end caps, when two women stopped to look at the goods.

Woman 1: Oh, Flintstones Vitamins, my grandkids love these.

Woman 2: What’s this? Oh, it’s some of that massage oil.

I had to look as they were speaking loudly and the Flintstones Vitamins mention caught my attention, as who doesn’t like Flintstones vitamins? It was the KY warming massage oil, the kind that warms on contact.

Woman 1: Oooooh, girl, I bet that feels good.

So I smile broadly and felt I had my amusement for the day.

Later I thought, you know, gotsex.com would be a great domain name. If not by a true website owner, then by some domain name bulk buyers. These people grab up any names in the hopes of re-selling to people who truly want the name. Not a fan of this practice, Yes, its legal, yes, it’s allowed, but not a fan as it hints of shady, chincy business practices. This may seem surprising as I am not necessarily anti-Capitalism - caveat emptor - I often believe. But in this case, the buyer may not even even have a shot to purchase due to the gobbling up of domain names. For instance, if Richard Nathan Cox wishes to but a domain name using his friendly moniker, one could easily figure it has either been purchased by a porn site or some domain name hoarding company. But this is simply an example as I do not know a Dick N. Cox.

Back to the gotsex.com example. Out of curiosity I checked to see if it was an actual site or simply being hoarded. I discover there is a gotsex . com site and it devotes itself to the review of porn websites. Porn-movie, porn-site reviewer - yet another job created with the advent of the Internet. I notice is ranks the top niches on the left side. Glancing quickly at the list, I see a porn category that I do not think I understand its reference. Shemale -it sounds like it could be one of the first couple of words sung in the “Laverne and Shirley” theme song, but I do not believe there would be strong demand for L & S porn. But I see it is supposed to be she-male, so in actuality do get the reference, just not the thrill.